Feeling sorry for myself.

I wish food wasn't so important to me.  Although I don't obsess over it as much as I did 2 months ago, I still feel completely drawn to it.  I think about it entirely too much.  I almost despise going grocery shopping now because walking around and seeing all the foods I cannot have and smelling the bakery and or deli drives me nuts.  I guess it's the 20+ years of bad eating habits that have lead me up to this point.  Obviously being 126lbs overweight (sigh) proves I cannot control myself.  Yet here I am, after losing over 30 lbs, feeling sorry for myself because I cannot go down into the kitchen and eat whatever I want.  Self control is SO hard!  I know I can do this for the long haul.  I've done it almost 2 months now.  I haven't had any sugar in almost 2 months.  That's a crazy thing for me to even say.  It feels good though, kind of like a badge of honor.  If Erica the sugar/carb whore can go almost 2 months w/o cheating, anyone can. 

Time to get in bed before I do something stupid and have to forfeit my new badge.  =o)

Phase 3 Day# 10

Not much to report.....things are going well.  It's a bit  cold today so I think I'll start searching for a high protein soup I can make.

Oh and I opened up my email and saw the Dairy Queen is having the brownie batter blizzard for their blizzard of the month during September.  YAY!!!  I can't wait to eat one or seven come my next loading days!!  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

ETA: I had a slice of Ezekiel bread w/ a couple eggs for breakfast this morning.  It tasted great!  We'll see how if if effects the scale in the morning.

___

Just got back from running errands and had to get a SF cinnamon dolce latte......thanks Mia for the idea!  YUMMY!

_____

Making this for dinner....

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/01/italian-meatball-soup/  only I'm leaving out the potatoes and am using lean ground turkey in place of the ground beef.  This is SUCH a flavorful soup. 

While making dinner I made my 1st smoothie w/ greek yogurt.  It was beyond fabulous!  I used 7 oz of plain greek yogurt, 5 big frozen strawberries, 1 packet of stevia, 1/4 tsp of vanilla,  and about 1/3 cup of milk.  I blended it all in  my little magic bullet.  Oh man it was like a creamy strawberry milkshake.  It was soooo creamy and the texture was like silk.  17 grams of protein in the yogurt......crazy!  Too bad greek yogurt is so gosh darn expensive.  Although the stuff I got today was on sale and reduced a further 25% because it expires in 10 days. 

Phase 3 Day# 9

I was able to get back down to 240 lbs this morning.  I'm .4 lbs away from being at my LDW.  Yahoo!  Looks like I'm going to have to push out my next loading days to the 17th and 18th of Sept.  I was going to load during my husband's birthday, but he'll be out of town on business.  I really want to go out to dinner and celebrate w/ him.  So I guess my phase 3 will be 4 weeks long instead of just 3 1/2.  I'm suprised at how anxious I feel to go back on phase 2.  I thought I'd be relishing in phase 3 foods....which I am.....but there is so much excitement to get on the scale and lose weight almost every morning.  Not to mention I still have almost 100 lbs still to go....I'm freaking anxious to get down to a "normal" weight.

Phase 3 Day #8

I went up .4lbs today putting me at exactly 2lbs above my  LDW.  I'm almost 100% positive it's because I haven't had to use the (ahem) bathroom in like 4 days.  I think all that meat and cheese is backing things up a bit.  Although I'm still taking my magnesium I think this is going to take some extra effort.  So I'll be going to the store today to pick up some smooth move tea.  If by tomorrow I haven't gone down I guess I'll be forced to do another steak day.  =(     I'm pretty confident that tomorrow will be fine.  I'm also going to pick up some greek yogurt, yippee!  I don't feel puffy at all today, my ankles, fingers, and knees all feel back to normal.  whew!

ETA: smooth move tea BLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It tastes awful!  I feel like I'm going to get sick.  blech
Eww!

How much protein??

So I've been researching protein and how much a person needs on a daily basis.  I found a formula that says a person should have 7 grams of protein for every 20lbs.  So for me it would work like this.....

240 lbs  divided by 20 = 12

12 x 7 = 84 grams of protein a day

As I lose weight I can adjust the amount of protein I'll need.   This helps temendously!  Now I don't feel like I'm walking around in the dark trying to figure things out.  I need to go out tomorrow and buy some greek yogurt.  I want to start making smoothies.  I like to take frozen berries, yogurt, vanilla extract, and a sweetener (in this case, stevia) and blend it up.  It's a quick and easy breakfast that's full of healthy fats, protein, and antioxidants.  =)

Steak Day results

Well I dropped 1.4 lbs from my steak day.  I was hoping for a minimum of 2lbs, but I'll take what I can get.  I still feel swollen around my knees this morning.  I'm thinking maybe I should try a mini steak day.  Time to research it to figure out what I need to do.  At least at this point I'm 1.6 lbs within my LDW.  So that much is good.

This is the info that I found:

"Meal one eat eggs, little butter (NO CARBS)

Meal two eat eggs, Cheese, protein and LOW carb VEGGIE

Meal three eat Beef, Cheese, salad

LOADS OF WATER..."

The thought of more beef makes me want to hurl!  Maybe I can make a P3 friendly meatloaf instead of steak or hamburger...shudder.

ETA:  I was rereading my book by Linda Prinster and I came across the dreaded term.....hunger edema.  It's basically when a person doesn't eat enough protein that their body starts to hold onto all water.  I read where I should've been eating a 1500 calorie diet MINIMUM.....so yeah...between those two things and not being hungry because of the pain I was in, I basically set myself up for this water gain.  Lame.  Live and learn I guess.  I sure hope Bre and Mia appreciate that I have to figure this out 1st.  lol

I had 3 eggs for breakfast w/ some cheese.  Maybe for lunch I'll make an omlet.  Dinner will probably be a meat loaf since I can't handle any more steak or hamburgers. 

I had coffee this morning w/ some half n half and a packet of stevia, it was delightful.  =)

STEAK DAY

I woke up this morning and I feel like my skin is tight w/excess fluid.  I feel so swollen.  =(  Neck pain or not, I'm getting to Costco as soon as they open and I'm getting stuff for a detox bath.  I also will be doing a steak day today since I got on the scale and was 242.8 lbs  EEEEEEK!!!!!  That's 2.2lbs up from yesterday!  I've been reading up on steak days since I got up this morning.  I guess it can be pretty common in your 1st round to have to do them esp in the 1-2 weeks of maintenence.  It's pretty depressing, but on the other hand I know w/o a shaddow of a doubt my gain has nothing to do w/ what I'm eating.  I'm eating phase 3 foods to the T. 

Please Lord, let tomorrow be a good day!!

ETA:  I am sooooooooooo hungry!! It feels like my stomach is going to turn inside out, dang it!  It's only 2pm........I still have about 4 hrs to go before dinner and my steak.  I went to Costco today and got some stuff for my detox bath.  I also bought 2lbs of filet mignon.  I thought if I have to eat steak (which I don't really care for red meat anyway) it might as well be the best I can get.  I think I'm going to make a garlic/herb compound butter to go on top of it.  HURRY UP 6:00!!!

Dinner: two filet mignons and an apple

I DO NOT LIKE BEEF!!!!!  It was very tender and the 1st few bites were OK......but I was trying not to gag on the last few bites.  UGH!   My feet and ankles are so swollen, reminds me of when I was pregnant.  =(    I read pounds and inches again this afternoon and not only have I been eating too little calories...should be 1500 MINIMUM......but I should be eating lots and lots of protein.  I know for a fact I haven't been doing either one of those things.   It says that patients who don't follow those two rules will gain lots of water weight.  I've read that whole red book like 4 times....and somehow I missed that info.  If I'm not better by tomorrow, I'm going to find the nearest bridge and jump off.  =)

Phase 3 Day # 5

I'm so irritated!  My stiff neck was really starting to feel better last night.  I woke up this morning back to where I was on Tuesday.  UGH!!!!!!!!!!  I'm not going to be taking any drugs this time around.  I'm trying to be calm and not stress, but it's hard. 

I got on the scale today and was 240.6 lbs.  So I went down .4lbs, hopefully this will continue and I get back to my LDW.  

My appetite is pretty much non exsistant.  I don't know if it's from being in so much pain or what.  I had to force myself to eat a big bowl of soup at noon.  I don't want to screw my metabolism up because I'm not eating enough. 

Calories so far today:  250

Snack: cottage cheese

Calories so far today: 375

Snack: chocolate delight w/ nuts and dried fruit

Calories so far today: 875

Dinner: oopsie roll french toast w/ huckleberries

Total calories for the day: 1375

I sure hope I feel better tomorrow.  Being in the kitchen trying to make food is exhausting when my neck hurts so bad.  I'm totally worried I'm not eating enough, which can backfire and cause weight gain.  UGH UGH UGH!

Phase 3 Day #4

Well crap!  On monday I woke up with a super sore stiff neck, well it was significantly worse yesterday and I didn't fall asleep even once last night due to the horrific pain I'm in.  Through the course of yesterday I took two perscription muscle relaxers and anti-inflamitories.  Neither one did anything to help my neck relax.  I even took two Motrin PM's out of desperation at 3am......nada......nothing.  I got out of bed feeling very puffy and swollen.  No shocker when I got on the scale and was up 1.6lbs from yesterday.  I'm 99% sure it's from the meds and not w/ the food I ate yesterday.  I'm going to drink a ton of water today and take a detox bath to see if I can eliminate the water weight by tomorrow.  =(

Breakfast:

I didn't eat anything, my neck was hurting so bad I felt sick.  =(

Lunch:

I had a big ol turkey burger sprinkled w/ amino acids.  Yum!  My neck is feeling a bit better. 

Calories so far today: 300

snack: I had a big bowl of the last of the strawberries and a couple TBS of coconut oil. 

I have zero appetite, and am still feeling rather sick to my stomach.  My neck is feeling much better, but still quite bothersome.  =(

Calories so far today:  665

Phase 3 Day #3

Down .2 lbs today......seems like I'm stabilizing just fine.  I feel really good, my hunger has definitely come back.  I try and only eat when I really feel hungry and not just because I want to eat.  I think today I'm going to make eggs parmigiana.  You put about 1 tsp of olive oil in a non stick pan over med heat.  Once heated you add 1 clove of minced fresh garlic....sautee for 1 min.  Crack two eggs over the garlic and season w/ salt and pepper.  Next you add about 1/4 cup of sugar free spaghetti sauce (w/o any meat) over the eggs, add some fresh mozz cheese and sprinkle w/ a bit of parm cheese.  Cover until cheese is melted and the eggs are cooked to your liking.  I know it sounds odd, but this is SUCH a tasty way to eat eggs.

Calories so far today: 330

Lunch:

I had another bowl of the cream of mushroom soup and this time I added 100 grams of chicken to make it a little more hearty.  Yummy!  I also made my 1st nut butter cup w/ my chocolate delight.  Oh baby oh baby!

Calories so far today: 845

Dinner: 

I was out getting some cheap chicken breasts at Safeway and thought on the way home I'd grab a starbucks latte.  I got a tall sf caramel latte, it was devine!  I'm not super hungry so I just made a turkey burger w/ 97% fat free turkey w/ an egg, parm cheese, onion and garlic powder, salt and pepper.   I'll need to get a snack this evening so I can reach a minimum of 1500 calories. 

Calories so far today: 1330

Snack:

1 cup of fresh sliced strawberries drizzled w/ a serving a choc delight.

Calories for the day: 1515

Out of the 20's

So when I started this diet back in July I was a size 22.  I am now officially a size 18!  I haven't been out of the 20's for 7 years!!!!!  Even though I once lost 40 lbs a few years ago....I only went down to a 20.  I'm confused how I can lose less weight and yet lose more inches.  Either way, I'm thrilled to be out of the evil 20's forever! 

Phase 3 Day #2

Good news I didn't gain six thousand pounds!!!  I actually just went  up .2 lbs which is where I was on my last day of drops.  Perfect!

I woke up with a VERY stiff neck, grrr!  When I went to bed last night I couldn't get warm for the life of me.  I even got up and put on my winter pajama pants and socks.  Anyway when I got back in bed I put the covers over my head except for a little breathing hole.  I think sleeping w/ my head at an angle under the blankets caused the stiff neck.  I also think because I've lost almost 32 lbs of fat that I'm not as "insulated" as I once was, causing me to be chilled a bit easier. 

I think this morning I'm going to try and make oopsie french toast w/ a homemade sugar free huckleberry syrup.  I bought some huckleberries a couple weeks ago and I stuffed them in the freezer.  I'm going to attempt to make a sauce/syrup by cooking some in a pan w/ a little bit of lemon juice and stevia until the berries break down.  I've made huckleberry sauce several times w/ regular sugar and corn starch to thicken it.  We'll see how this experiment turns out.  =)

ETA:

OMGoodness, pure deliciousness!

I dipped two oopsie rolls in a mixture of 1 beaten egg, 2 TBS of milk, a spash of vanilla and a pinch of cinnamon.  I put 2 tsp of butter in my cast iron skillet and placed the soaked rolls in the hot butter.  I then put 1/2 cup of frozen huckleberries in a small sauce pan on medium high heat and added 1 packet of stevia.  I cooked them until they burst open and most of the juice had evaporated.  Once the rolls were cooked on both sides I put them on a plate and put a pat of butter on top of each roll.  Then 1/2 the berry mixture on each roll and I was naughty and also put a tsp of cool whip on top of each roll.  Cool whip does have sugar in it.  A serving size is 2 tbs and it's 25 calories.  So if I had 2 tsp that should be 8.33 calories, but i'll round up to 10 just to be on the safe side.  =) 

I didn't feel sick today after eating breakfast.  After I ate my two rolls I though I could've easily eaten more but within 10 minutes I started to feel really full, so I'm glad I just stuck w/ making only two.

Just came across a website that shows all kinds of uses for oopsie rolls!

http://www.apinchofhealth.com/forum/vbb/showthread.php?t=5230

Calories so far today: 324

Lunch:

I had a small bowl of that leftover cream of mushroom soup.  It tasted wonderful!  I think tomorrow I'll add some cooked diced chicken to it to give it some more protein.  Then I made a double batch of chocolate delight and added some chopped nuts and chopped dried cranberries.   I'm being so good and yet I feel so naughty.  ;)  heehee

Calories so far today:  903

Dinner:

So I just couldn't help myself, I HAD to make more french toast oopsie rolls.  =)  I am now out of oopsie rolls and will not make any more till tomorrow.  This way I'll have to eat something else for breakfast.  I had 1/2 a cup of cottage cheese at 6:00 and then by 7:30 I was STARVING!  I ended up using my last 3 rolls for dinner. 

Calories for the day: 1517

Phase 3 Day #1

Ok so I waited until 9:30 to make my omlet this morning.  I just wasn't very hungry.  I cooked up a slice of bacon and ended up burning it slightly.  I deceided to eat it while I cooked my omlet.  It didn't taste near as good as it smelled. 

The omlet consisted of:

2 eggs
1tbs milk
salt/pepper
1oz of pepperjack cheese
1/4 cup sliced mushrooms
1tsp of butter
1tbs sour cream
2tbs salsa

I sauteed the mushrooms in the butter and then added the eggs.  Once cooked I threw in the cheese until melted.

I put it on a plate and put on the salsa and sour cream. 

I can honestly say after eating it  I feel horribly full and slightly sick.  If I make another omlet, I'll only make a 1 egg omlet.  My stomach hurts SOO bad right now.  =(

I'm scared I'm going to wake up tomorrow and haved gained six thousand pounds. 

Calories so far today: 389

Lunch:
I had an oopsie roll w/ lettuce, 3 slices of turkey pastrami, 1 tsp of mayo and 1tsp of horshradish mustard.  I also had a small bowl of sliced strawberries drizzled w/ a serving of chocolate delight.  Yum! I'm so not hungry.  I feel stuffed to the max!  Although not sick like I felt this morning.  I do not think I can get to 1500 calories today.  We'll see how it goes.  I may have to just do like 1100 and work my way up. 

Note: The oopsie rolls had a very and I do mean VERY slight eggy flavor.  Once you put on the toppings you can't taste it at all.  They're very delicate rolls.  I cut mine in half to use as sandwhich bread.  I looked online and it seems many people use two rolls instead of cutting one in half.  

Calories so far today: 695

Dinner:
It was slightly chilly today so I went looking for a low carb soup that I could make for dinner.  I ran across this recipe http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Cream-of-Mushroom-Soup-I/Detail.aspx
It was delicious!  The only thing I did differently was leave out the flour and instead of sherry I added white wine.  I had about 2 ladels full, which filled my large teacup perfectly.  I'm guessing w/ the subtraction of the flour that my calories from the soup are about 250.  It's almost 7pm and I'm still quite full.  I also still have another liter of water to drink, so I am done w/ food for the day.

Calories for the day:  945

I'm scared spitless to get on the scale tomorrow.  Eeek!

Ooopsie Rolls

I made my 1st batch of ooopsie rolls.  Thanks Mia for the recipe!

I used some little tiny pans I bought years ago to make molten chocolate mini cakes.  I haven't used them since. 

They work nice is helping the rolls keep a uniform shape.  I want to try one tomorrow w/ some cheese, lettuce, tomato, and turkey pastrami.  Yum! 

So I forgot to mention that I am definitely down a size.  I know a few posts ago I was complaining about feeling like a stuffed sausage, well now the new jeans fit quite comfortably.  I didn't realize it until a few days ago but I bought "skinny" jeans in the next size down.  Well skinny jeans are meant to basically be suctioned to your legs.  These no longer fit like that.  They're comfortable and they fit like normal jeans.  So I think I actually went down a size and a half.  Yay!

VLCD # 43

Today is my very last Very Low Calorie Day!  woohoo!  So far today ZERO hunger.  Yippee!  I got on the scale this morning and was exactly the same weight as yesterday.  I ended up doing some laundry and other chores and then took a shower.  Before I got in the shower I got on the scale again and was down .2 lbs.  That kind of got me a little bit excited because that would mean I'm down exactly 32 lbs in 41 days.  Crazy! 

I think my plan for phase 3 is to try and stay around 1500-1600 calories while eating a low carb/adkins friendly diet.  If I can maintain there, then that'd be great.  If I keep losing slowly then I'll slowly add extra calories until I can stabilize properly.

ETA:

Ok so NOW the hunger comes.  This totally sucks big time!  It's not quite 6pm and I've already eaten my dinner because I was starving.  I still feel hungry.  I have one more veggie I can eat today.  I'm going to have to try and save it for like 7:30 or 8:00pm so I can live through today. 

grumble grumble whine

VLCD # 42

Yahoo, I finished my 6 weeks of drops.  Today I did my final phase 2 weigh in and measurments.
I lost .8lbs today for a grand total of 31.8 lbs lost and 33.75 inches lost!!  Today and tomorrow I'll be continuing my 500 calorie diet while the hcg leaves my system.  I'm a little bit freaked though, because the hcg really helps with hunger....and without it I'm afraid I'll be starving.  I just need to go through the next two days and I'm home free (for 3 1/2 weeks that is). 

I started this journey with 126.4 lbs to lose.  One quarter of that weight is 31.6 lbs.  So I have officially lost 1/4 of my weight.  Yay! 

I have a bbq at my parents house to go to since my aunt and uncle are in town.  So once again, I'll be bringing my own food.  I think I'll make some sorbet and bring it in the cooler. 

Time to get the kids registered for school.

ETA:

I just made a batch of the strawberry sorbet.  I put it into a container and then into the freezer.  I figure I'll bring it to my parent's house along w/ some chicken, asparagus, and the amino acids.  Yum!!  So far the hunger hasn't been too bad.  I can definitely tell though that I'm hungier than I was w/ the HCG drops.

Well so far so good.  I had a great time at the bbq.  Oh man there were grilled burgers, hot dogs, fruit salad, pasta salad, potato chips, and grandma's homemade cookies.  I was good and just ate the food I brought w/ me.  Hunger hasn't really been much of a problem today.  I was fairly hungry around lunch time, but since then I haven't really been hungry at all.  Thank you Jesus!  I just have one more day I need to get through before phase 3 begins. 

VLCD # 41

I woke up too early this morning.  My son let the dog in the house and he jumped up on the bed and started chewing on my hair.  blech!  Got on the scale and was down another .6lbs!  Making my new weight 240.4 or a 31 lb loss.  I might just be able to get into the 230's by tomorrow.  Either way, I feel really good and am proud I've stuck with it like I have.  I'm really hoping that by Chirstmas time I will be under 200.  I still have another 6 week round to do and a short round before Chistmas.  If I can lose 25lbs next round and 15 w/ the short round, then I'd be at my Christmas goal.  Then after that, I'd have 6-7 months to lose another 50-60lbs and I could easily be at my ultimate goal weight by summer.  I could do approx 3 more full rounds by summer.  If I can lose an average of 20lbs per round, I'd be exactly where I want to be.

ETA:

Stopped by Pilgrims market and grabbed some Bragg's Amino Acids.  YUMMY!!!!  I tasted a drop, tasted exactly like my favorite soy sauce.  I sooo wish I knew about it 41 days ago, but alas I know about it now and I'm excited!  I also picked up some stuff I can start to eat on Sunday.  I got some cream cheese, half n half, heavy cream, butter, mozz cheese, and some ezekiel bread.  woohoo!  I can hardly believe today is my last day of drops.  My 2oz bottle lasted the entire 6 weeks.  Most people said they're bottles only last 4-5 weeks.  weird. 

I'm going to make myself some lunch.  Grilled chicken, salad, and some strawberry sorbet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Thanks be to Mia for the recipe!!

My wedding ring is getting waaaay too big.  It keeps spinning around and driving me crazy.

RIBS

So I was laying in bed talking with my husband and he put his hand on my stomach.  He moved his hand up and stopped and said, " holy cow I can feel your ribs!!".   YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   When I look in the mirror sometimes I can really see a difference.  The cellulite on my thighs esp. are disappearing rapidly.  Other times I feel like the same fat pig that I was before.  I'm glad he can see and FEEL the difference in my body.  It just keeps that fire inside me burning to continue to fight the good fight.  =)

VLCD # 40

Wow, I can hardly believe today is day 40!!!!!!!!!  I got on the scale this morning and lost .6lbs!  I hit my goal!!  I'm now down to 241 lbs.  There is a possibility that I could get into the 230's before phase 2 is over.  That would be fabulous.  To have started in the 270's and ended in the 230's would be so super awesome.  =)  We'll see.  For now, i'm just pumped that i've lost 30.4 lbs.  If someone had told me that I would lose this much in 40 day's I would've thought they were high. 

I need to get my rear in gear and quick.  I got a call yesterday that an inspector would be coming to our house today between 8am and 4pm to inspect the installation of our new heat pump.  It's 8:15 and I'm still in my pajamas.  Eeeeek!!!

It's been a good day.  I'm drinking some "lemonade" that's pretty darn good.  Stevia, lemon juice, and water.  I sooo need to go buy some more strawberries.  I'm getting super tired of apples.  lol  stupid apple day

VLCD # 39

Ok I just want to punch myself in the face.  Grrr!!!!  You'd think this far into the game that I'd have a better hold on what I'm DOING!  So I had stew last night, and I only had a few pieces of the meat and some cooked celery.  Stupid stupid me didn't think about the starches in the stew from the cooked potatoes. I woke up this morning feeling SUPER puffy and my joints all ache.  I'm such a flipping idiot!  Anyway no shocker I gained .4 lbs today.  So 29.2 lbs lost now instead of 29.6.  Today I'll be doing an apple day to help eliminate the water weight my body is obviously holding onto.  I might go to Costco this afternoon and pick up some more stuff for the detox baths.  I WILL get to 30lbs by friday, I WILL!!!

Hmmmm so I went to go take a shower and got on the scale again and this time it said 241.6 .  I got off and got back on 6 times and each time it said the same number.  I don't know what the heck is going on.  I still feel puffy and stiff.  =(     I think I'm going to continue to do an apple day, despite the scale now showing a .2 lb loss from yesterday's weight.  Stupid scale, stupid beef stew, stupid stupid!

Doing good so far on my apple day.  I've had 3 apples so far.  I'll probably have 1 more before I go to bed.  I'm a little bit hungry today.  It's about time I take my 3rd dose of hcg, that should help the hunger die down.   Hubby is in Seattle for the night, so it makes dinner preparation much easier.  He really enjoys home cooked meals.  When he's out of town I make sandwiches with fruit and vegetables for the kids.  Easy to make, easy to clean, and not too tempting.  =)  I can feel myself starting to do what I always do when I set a goal and that is to cheat.  I don't mean eating food I shouldn't, more like quitting before my time is up.  I WON'T quit, I promise.........it's just I FEEL like quitting.  I promised myself I'd do a full 6 weeks and no amount of demon whisperings is going to get me to give up......not this time.  I'm so freaking sick of being a fat girl....I just can't take it anymore.  Losing pretty much 30lbs and seeing very little change has really made me realize just how big I truly was.  30lbs on most people would be a HUGE change.  I can't dwell on that though.  Truth is, I'm lighter than I've been in 6  years.  I just need to keep plugging away.  Slow and steady wins the race.  Annoying saying, but it's so true.

VLCD # 38

Well I haven't gotten on the scale yet today.  We had guys come to install our AC unit early this morning.  Yay for air conditioning!!  So I was rereading my HCG Weight Loss Cure  Guide this morning and realized that after your last dosage of drops you need to wait 72 hrs before eating any phase 3 foods.  I was going to stop taking the drops Thursday evening, but that would mean I couldn't eat phase 3 foods till 8pm on Sunday.  I don't eat that late, so instead I'm going to take my last dosage of drops at 8am Thursday morning, so on Sunday morning I can start enjoying phase 3 foods.  I'm soooo making an omlet w/ cheese and bacon that morning!  Mmmmmmmm

I'll update more after I've done my weigh in.  I'm hoping I hit my 30lb loss.

ETA: Well I finally got on the scale at 11:00 just to find out I didn't lose anything.  =(  Oh well.  I only drank 2 liters of water yesterday instead of my normal 4 liters and I got very little sleep due to fighting w/ my husband.  I've read that if you don't get a good amout of sleep that your losses the following day can be little to nothing.  So with those two factors, I'm not too suprised to have lost zero.  I'm totally confident that I'll get to my 30 before Friday.  =)

The air conditioner is installed and working like a charm.  Yay!  I think after the kids have lunch that I'll put on a movie for them while I take a little nap.  Maybe this afternood the hubby and I can sit down and talk through our differences.  I don't know what the heck is going on with us lately, but it's seriously wearing on me.

VLCD # 37

I had a super awesome day yesterday.  I got up early and picked up my girlfriend and we went to Starbucks.  I ordered a small coffee, w/ a TBS of milk and I added a few drops of chocolate stevia.  It was OK.  It's the 1st time I've had coffee since starting the diet.  I drank about half of it and threw the rest away.  We went for a long walk downtown and then walked the board walk.  By then the shops downtown were opening.  We looked in toy stores, an Irish store and some art galleries.  Then we had lunch ( apple slices and chicken) and went to see the movie Inception.....totally freaking awesome movie!  Then we went to a couple flee markets and finished off by going to Pilgrims Market.  I got a jar of almond butter, and some organic fruits/vegetables.  I dropped off my friend and went to visit my parents and then went to walmart to grab some ice cream for my husband.  I got home and the kids were fed, the house was clean, and a bunch of yard work was done.  =)  I should go out more often!!!  lol

I finished up the day with some more chicken, asparagus, and a few of the organic strawberries.  Heaven!  I took a detox bath, read a good book and went to bed. 

Woke up this morning to a .8 lb loss!  I'm only .4 away from hitting 30 !!!!!!!!! 

Tomato Street

So hubby got home from work and wanted to go to Tomato Street for dinner.  I have been avoiding going out to eat since I started the diet, but I knew of something I could order that would keep me on track.  Oh man the aroma was KILLING ME!  I told the waitress not to bring any bread to our table.  Stupid garlic bread, I could eat the whole basket full if no one was looking.  Anyway I ordered a bowl of romain lettuce with baked chicken breasts w/ no seasonings or oils and some sliced strawberries.  I brought along a tiny tupperwear of my own homemade dressing.  Red wine vinegar, water, dijion mustard, basil, oregano, garlic powder, onion power, and salt & pepper.  It was quite tasty and very filling.  I had an ice water w/ a lemon wedge to drink.  Even though I wasn't hungry it was really hard to smell all the amazing smells in the place.  I'm sooooooo ready for phase 3.   Tomorrow I'm going out with a girlfriend of mine for the day.  I'm picking her up in the morning and we're going to go get some coffee.  I'm going to have a small coffee w/ a tsp of milk and I'll bring along some chocolate stevia.  Then we're going to wander around down town and look in all the fun shops along Sherman.  Lunch time we're going to go watch Inception.  I'm bringing baggies of cooked chopped chicken breasts, apple slices, celery sticks, and some bottled water.  Oh and of course my HCG drops.  =)  I'm so looking forward to a day w/o kids and a day w/o the hubsters.

VLCD # 35

Well I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I cheated a bit yesterday and totally paid the price for it. I was making dinner for the family last night and I was pretty hungry and cranky. I guess hunger gets worse during TOM. lovely ANYWAY, so I bbq'd up some chicken breasts that had been marinating in Yoshida sauce (yum!) and since I was tired and feeling quite lazy I ended up eating 3oz of yoshida chicken (totally not on protocol). I also ate two slices of ripe cantalope (totally not on protocol). It's really the 1st time I've ever cheated. I don't know why I did it other than I wasn't in the mood to make myself food after I just made everyone else their food. Lazy me!! I woke up around 2am with a migrane so bad I could barely function. I took some excedrine migrane and it took a good few hours for the headache to go away completely. I KNOW it was caused by the sugar in the food I had last night, even though it wasn't much. It made me realize just what a poison processed sugar is and how it's so harmful to the body. UGH! I will NOT make that mistake again. Lesson learned, big time!

Good news, I woke up and lost .6lbs! I was actually expecting a gain after my foolish choices last night. I'm down to 243.2 lbs or a total of 28.2lbs lost. yahoo!!!! I might actually make my 30lb goal after all. =)

VLCD # 34

Well I feel like crap today. I think I have an ovarian cyst....from what I can tell. It's not super painful but constantly hurting, if that makes any sense. It's exhausting me and making me super cranky. Not to mention I woke up today feeling insanely bloated.....it's that time of the month again. Freaking awesome.

I got on the scale this morning and it was the 1st day in 34 days where I haven't lost anything. I'm at 243.8 or 27.6 lbs lost. I don't know if I should do an apple day, detox bath, or just ride it out. UGH! I REAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY want to lose 30 lbs before my 6 weeks is up. I have only 1 more week in which to lose 2.4 lbs. Sounds easy, but the last two weeks have really slowed down. Which of course is completely normal. I know you lose the most the 1st 3 weeks and the last 3 weeks your weight comes off much slower. In reality since I'm on homeopathic HCG I can be on it as long as I want without worrying about becoming immune to the hormone. BUT I'm mentally ready for a break. Average weight loss for a woman is between 20 and 40 lbs in her 1st round. With all the research I've done, the only women who lost 40 or close to it are woman who are HUUUGE. I know I shouldn't be upset, I'm almost down 30 lbs. That is nothing to turn my nose up at, at all.

From what I keep reading most ovarian cysts go away on their own within 2 weeks. I'm hoping that's what mine does so I don't have to make a Dr. appt.

Yesterday I ate really well. In the morning I ate a nectarine, and for lunch and dinner I made a spicy chicken cabbage soup. It was really filling and tasty. I think maybe I should do an apple day and a detox bath this evening and see if that helps move things along in the right direction by tomorrow.

VLCD #31

I feel really good today. I'm just starting to get hungry and it's almost 11am. Not too shabby. I got on the scale this morning and lost another whole pound, yay! I was getting discouraged because for 4 days in a row I only lost .2lbs. It's silly to get discouraged over something like that though..... .2lbs a day is almost a stick of butter gone each day. That is actually amazing! I've been watching so many encouraging vlogs on youtube I was thinking I might start to do some of my own. Maybe I should start vlogging when I start Round 2 of phase 2 on Sept 16th. I saw my granparents yesterday. I haven't seen them since my 1st day on HCG. They both instantly were shocked at my weight loss. =) It was fun to have them notice. I'm looking forward to getting into a smaller pant size. The baggy pants are driving me crazy. It's gross to have wrinkles on your butt because it's so baggy....on the other hand I feel like a stuffed sausage in the smaller size. ugh! I know I know I just need to give myself another week or two and it'll fit fine. I just need to remember ONE DAY AT A TIME! Yesterday I made some roasted red potatoes for the family to eat with their meatloaf. As I was doing dishes I popped a little bite into my mouth. As I chewed it I realized what I just did and ended up spitting it into the sink. To deny one's self is HARD! I've given into myself so much that changing that behavior is painful. I almost feel like this diet is teaching me much more than just about food. Self control has always been the fruit of the spirit that I've struggled with the most. I'm thankful God allowed me to run across this HCG diet. I feel like I'm slowly changing into who God wants me to be.

VLCD # 30

Wow, I can't believe I've been doing this diet for 30 days!!!!! As of today I'm down an even 26 lbs. 245.4 lbs =) All my pants are getting baggy, which is awesome! I haven't been down a size in years. I'm looking forward to phase 3. Being able to eat fats again like cheese, butter, salmon, etc is going to taste like heaven! I'm hopin that in the 14 days I have left that I can lose at least 4 more lbs. I'd be thrilled if I can pull off 30 or more lbs.

VLCD # 25

Things are going well. I've been having very little hunger and the longer I seem to go the easier it's getting. My biggest struggle is when I make meals for the family that I cannot enjoy with them. 19 more days and I can start eating things like cheese, olives, salad dressing, etc. YAY! To date I'm down 24.4 lbs, can't wait to hit 25!!