Oh round two, I almost didn't believe you'd ever arrive. =)
My friend won't be here w/ the donuts for over 3 more hours, sigh. I woke up this morning and realized that I just signed up to do another 9 weeks of VLCD and phase 3 foods. After my two loading days I won't be able to eat what I want until Thanksgiving!! Eeeek! I'm not sure why food is still so important to me that I'm stressed about when I'll get to eat what I want again. I feel like a lame fat idiot for thinking those thoughts. I know I'm on a path that is allowing me to lose weight, gain my health back, and gain my LIFE back. I do NOT want to be the mom that cannot enjoy physical activities with her family because of her size. I want to go sledding, swimming, hiking, biking, roller blading etc etc etc. I not only want to do those things, but I want to ENJOY them!! I can swim but it's painful because of my horrific body image. Roller blading hurts my feet too much because of all the weight they have to carry. I haven't gone sledding with my children EVER. My husband has taken them, but in 8 years I have never done it. I've watched from the side lines because trying to get on a sled was hard when you have that much weight to lose. And because just climing up the sledding hill would make me so winded I was not going to humiliate myself.
You see what I'm doing here??
I'm pumping myself up.....I'm not going to allow food (I don't care how boring it is) to hold me back ANY LONGER!
I will succeed, I will follow this protocol, I will enjoy my maple bars this morning. =)
♥ to you all!! Heeeeeeere we go!
ETA: ok so I started off this morning with a FRUITITO from Davis Donuts. It's like a burrio filled with an apple cinnamon filling,deep fried, then dipped in glaze and topped with a crunchy cinnamon streusel. YUM! Unfortunately within 6 bites I was already starting to feel queasy. I sipped on my raspberry mocha and started to wonder if it was really ever as good as I remembered it to be. Three hours later I had a maple bar and felt like I was going to blow chunks. I'm SOOOO done with donuts. I never thought I'd ever say or think that....but it's truly how I feel. My maple bar obsession has offically ended. LOL
I don't want to eat anything.....the thought of food is just gross. Figures. So much for taking advantage of my loading days. I was super excited to have a dairy queen brownie batter blizzard, but now I'm thinking that sounds more like hell than heaven.
5 comments:
Barharharhar you make me laugh! I was dreaming about all this food that I was going to eat. It's 8:55 p.m. and I still haven't had any dinner and I just don't care. The stupid donuts and the part of a super burrito I ate today at lunch were hard enough to eat. The thought of pizza for dinner made me want to throw up. Now I know what my husband means whenever he says he's hungry but could eat "whatever." When I used to be hungry, I had a specific food in mind. I would open a menu at a restaurant and know exactly what I wanted. I never understood how it could take a person several minutes to find something that sounded good. Now I know what it feels like to be normal, and it just feels so...NORMAL. Bo-RING. LOL. I am all about crocheting, and I think I'm going to start back up with a vengeance. Now that I don't obsess over food, maybe I'll have time to obsess over laundry, house cleaning, and being a good mom?
I had fun talking to you tonight. I am SO looking forward to next summer when I can come out. Aaron says that I can buy a plane ticket sometime really soon and come spend a weekend alone in Cd'A. Would you let me sleep on your couch, and would you pick me up from the airport?
OMGosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 really??? really??? REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Of COURSE you could stay w/ us!!!! You could stay in the bonus room. We have an air mattress you could use. You better not be teasing me, cuz I'd fly to CO and drop kick you! LOL
As far as picking you up from the airport, I don't think I could. I'm only your 1st friend choice out of 3 people....i'm still offended.
LOLOLOL!!!
BTW, I couldn't eat dinner either. It's almost 9pm and I feel like a stuffed porker. There was such a large list of foods I wanted to eat during my two loading days and yet the only thing that sounds remotely good is a plate of fresh vegetable and fruit. I feel like my thoughts and feels are alien. Erica doesn't crave fruits and vegetables. Erica craves pasta, and alfredo sauce, and FREAKING MAPLE BARS!!!!! Good grief, who am I anymore? LOL
oh good grief, I wish I could edit my terrible grammatical errors >:o{
If you come out to CO to drop kick me, I'll pick you up from the airport too! And then we can fly back to Cd'A together. I've only flown once, and never alone so I'm going to be nervous. I can't wait! it might be in October or November (depending on the size of Aaron's next two bonuses from work.), would that work? Maybe I'll wait until the beginning of November so that way we'll be able to eat some food together!
Whenever you want to come would be just fine. =) Yay!! I'm sooo excited!
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